Yesterday I stopped by the local village, on my way back from the local town of Hosur, after running some errands, to pray with Ganesha and to do Puja. It was the first time I had been back at a temple in India.
As soon as I got off the Rickshaw, the village children surrounded me..
They wanted to see this non local white woman do puja. It is funny to refer to myself as white, even in India, because I do not see myself as a color or fit clearly in between all the check off race boxes on a survey. When you are Latina, a bit brown, a bit white and mestiza how could you? Even though I do not consider myself white, many do in India, because I do not carry an Indian name and I am not brown enough according to some. In my heart though and probably in some past life, I am clearly Hindu and not just any white woman.
But here I was yesterday, at the local village at their local temple, barefoot, laying on the floor. (a customary position done by Hindu’s when praying intently). I prayed yesterday to Ganesha, the God that removes all obstacles, as I have prayed many times to him before.. Yesterday, I prayed, to remove the obstacles of money that keep me tied to the fear of cutting my adventure short here in India. Backpacking for two months in East Asia, was fun, and I learned a lot but to be honest it was an unexpected leg of my adventure that I did not count on, and definitely has left me with a financial burden. Now, due to those two months, I am definitely living with very little and sometimes I wonder how I will make it through these next six months. But I have grown to trust the universe… money will come… if I believe in the work I am doing., everything I want will come to me again. It must. ..
Funny, here… my poverty is nothing in comparison to the children in this village I have brought my poverty upon myself . I have chosen to volunteer and not earn money. Much like a Sadhu, giving up all my material attachment, moving to India, living on barely nothing I am spreading the love as selflessly as I can.. I have managed to live for 6 months, backpack through East Asia and return back to India, always staying open, giving of my light when needed, inspiring and learning from all that came on my path. I am truly blessed!
As I meditated on this point yesterday, the village children were quick to remind me that my stress over bills was nothing compared to the real work that is yet to be done in India to overcome poverty among so many poor children. And not just India alone! There are so many more children to serve across the world.. so many more to play with, inspire , heal and teach.
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Walking back to the Rickshaw, I took a moment to play with the kids, before I had to go back to the school...
It really opened my heart and reminded me why I am here in India now.. to help the children. The very kids I teach, and work with ,would be in the same predicament of extreme poverty as these village kids were, if Dr. George’s school Shanti Bhavan had not interevened. This year, the school had its first graduating senior class. All the students were admitted to prestigious colleges where they will begin the path to success in India, despite their Untouchable caste level. This is the movement I have come to be part of! I want to help eradicate poverty through education, yoga and the arts. Change is really happening. It is inspiring to be part of it…
I forget sometimes, why I have given up a year of my life, to do Karma yoga and volunteer. But I reframe this thought when I start to get anxious about what is next.. you know those questions that make you anxious when you think about them?.. “What will I do for money?” “How will I pay my bills?” “I can’t keep my loans in forbearance forever!” Then my mind quiets as I open my heart and I hear my inner voice. The voice of the divine mother saying:
You have not GIVEN UP a year, You have been GIVEN a year.
One year, to live in India, One year to test my limits, One year to make an impact on the lives of children that need me as much as I need them. One year to heal my heart. One year to figure out what I want to do next. One year to continue writing.. One year…of manifesting my dreams to help heal children all over the world.
I can still feel the power of India .. the love here.. I am lucky to be back here again, to be able to taste it, and live in its colors, its heat, and monsoon rains. I am lucky to pray and do Puja and Yoga in India. I am lucky to be reborn here. India is now my other home, I now know, that. No one will ever be able to take that away from me, even if I am not able to be here forever, I can always return to it if I will it…
I know because time has already shown me I can return. Now only time will tell what these next six months will be like and what I will learn from this next leg of my adventure… India part two….are you ready? I know I am….
