Italy- Learning the art of loving and eating..

It has been 3 months since I left India to take a chance on love. Instantly I have learned to build bridges with my Hindu practice and the ever prevalent Catholic presence all around me ( Even the street corners ring of church bells and crosses are hung everywhere). As soon as I arrived, I built my altar, which now, with the help of Giacomo, my boyfriend( remember the Italian I met in Bangkok for 24 hours? The universe brought us together finally!), is becoming a space of worship of all gurudevas around us. Every day we light incense to honor Maharaji, Yogananda and Babaji to name a few.
Everyday I practice my limited Italian, often staying quiet and ”hearing” a lot and speaking less, with the people around me. In many ways this language barrier is a blessing, as I am learning to read energy and work my magic ( with less words and more love energy), something my yoga practice has taught me.
Everyday, I am challenged by living with another soul who is undergoing his own transition and evolution with a complicated divorce and a separation of a marriage of 25 years. We all know that these times can prove to be full of hardship and sometimes dark. I try to keep my light shining even if at times the candle flickers. I try to find my mirror and karma in all of this. How life has brought me here, to Italy to love someone who , like me, is evolving and learning to rebuild his light warrior self. A baba and a shamanic guru in his own right, Giacomo, my naga (Warrior) is teaching me that I deserve love and that even after divorce at any age, you can fall in love again.
Everyday I become grateful for the delicious foods I am able to eat and learn to cook, like the art of eating pasta, without a knife! Or the mushrooms I have learned to pick in the mountains while hiking. Often on these hikes I dream of building a home, a sort of refuge for yogis and artists alike. I am learning that if I listen I can hear the trees, and the rocks and they give me energy, as do the people who live in the mountains of Sardinia, who have shared with me their wine, honey, and even lemons. All is organic here in Sardinia. The air is pure and the oceans are a clear turquoise color full of hope and dreams. I am learning to let go and let live here.
Sometimes I lose my way, but I have continued reading the Autobiography of a Yogi. I am grateful for the energy that Yogananda has given me on this new journey. I try to practice yoga on the beautiful beaches of Sardinia and meditate on the rocks of granite (the very rocks that the great Roman Empire chiseled at to make their great empirical statues and historical sites). When I practice, I become clear again and I know that this clarity helps me find my way back to love again. I am learning to Love. Love ever so gently the entire world. To find love within, and to mirror it back to anyone ready to reflect.
As I write this, I am off again to visit the family back home in Miami, and on this holiday season, I am sending light and love to all who dare to dream, to follow their hearts and listen to the call of the universe, God knows its becoming harder everyday to listen but we cannot stop , we must dare to dream and to manifest love in all we do.. if not now then when?

One year in India = 2 Suitcases and 1 Carry on

You know its funny, how I keep holding on to memories of this past year, oh India you definitely left me with many, trying to jam them into my already full suitcases, anxiously making sure they don’t go over 20 kg so I don’t have to pay the overcharge. What is it about this country that makes me want to fit it all so neatly inside my suitcases? As if you can ever try to explain all of these experiences ,especially the spiritual ones, using the form of material things…
But Of course, being one that is extremely visual and gets attached easily to “things”, clearly my one year experience keeps manifesting itself into material things: like the Kukkum Powder that I must carry with me to do Puja anywhere I go next , and of course there must be room for my 3 Saris which I will wear again someday somewhere ( even if they are in my dreams) and the 5 Kurtas I must carry back with me, which have remnants of soap due to being handwashed endlessely in buckets and hung to dry with spiders and bees that loved to nestle in their warmth everyday in the Guesthouse backyard.
There is of course all the religious manifestations I must bring with me like the 7 miniature Ganeshas I now own because I cannot get any other kind to fit into my suitcase which are a result of my connection to Ganesha . These Ganeshas all hold memories of temples that I visited and must be wrapped gently inside my religious batiks of Lakshmi and Ganesha. I must also carry back as many rudras as possible for Shiva and his tears, to tie on the wrists of all my loved ones for protection. And, let us not forget the bracelets, bindis and henna powder that I must also keep to remember all the Indian celebrations and especially the endless bhangra dances I performed for the kids at Shanti Bhavan.
I must learn to laugh at myself for these “things” and for the long list of anxieties and fears that I now want to let go of and not pack into my luggage. Its funny how things change, the same luggage that was previously full of doubt, and hope, and also wrestled with being overweight with U.S. comforts such as toilet paper and protein bars, now has become empty and full of grace. It has become full of laughter, unconditional love, magic, endless colors and one strong warrior waiting to step into her next journey a little lighter, more trusting of the universe, ready to tell her story and in the process hoping it will help others tell theirs.
One thing is for certain, the 204 children I met here at Shanti Bhavan, in India are forever changed by me, as I am by them. We shall meet again I am sure, in this lifetime or in many to come. So now, I pack my memories of them as well into my suitcase, never fearing if I shall return again, because in my heart I know I will and even though there is a lot of uncertaintly where my future lies, I do know one thing, once I have something set inside my heart, there is little that the universe can do to stop me. I have changed my fate before, according to many psychics and destiny is only something I believe now, we help to write with a little of help from the universe. This is my story, India just now a chapter in my book that I must write and I have a feeling there will be more chapters left to live and write on this magical journey of a girl who believed she could heal the world with a little love, magic and color.

Hare Krishna!

Something told me to open the bright blue door. Something called me today to enter this temple. As I did, my heart grew excited as I entered this familiar state of worship and prayer. I was equally calmed by the friendliness of the members of this temple. After doing my own personal puja and being blessed by the priest, I was invited to sit down and join in a small kirtan (musical religious celebration) and prassad (Blessed food that is served at a temple).
As I sat down in the meditation hall, I was surrounded by the sounds of : Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna. Krishna Krishna Hare Hare …
And I could feel my body start to vibrate with energy. Hindus and others alike say that this mantra, Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna
Krishna, Krishna
Hare, Hare,
Hare Rama Hare Rama
Rama Rama
Hare Hare
elevates your state of consciousness. There have been others that have been so moved by this mantra that they have joined the movement of the Hare Krishna’s . The Hare Krishna’s believe in chanting this mantra daily and also worship Krishna himself on a daily basis, they believe the more people they can inspire to do this chanting the better the world will become because this chanting will elevate the world.
I don’t know why I was called to visit this temple, a Krishna temple of all things, as I usually am drawn to Shiva temples, the ones that worship Ganesha, Lakshmi and Saraswati. I think I must have felt their energy this day, I was equally touched by the warmth and openness of my friend Allegra who dared to join me on this journey! Imagine, this was her first temple visit in India!.
What moved me the most was the meal we ate with the Hare Krishnas which we politely accepted. We were offered prassad on a banana leaf while we ate sitting on the floor. Using my hands, I proceeded to eat the most authentic meal I have had in India to date. I ate goats milk, on top of rice, a dhal with chapatti. I ate only with my right hand (as the left hand is considered not cleanly enough to eat with) the most delicious vegetarian food. As I ate, I felt blessed to feed my body with this holy food.
Looking back on today’s temple visit, I am reminded of how lucky I am to be back again, on this spiritual journey in India!
I am calling now more than ever to seek balance and spiritual renewal through meditation, yoga and temples across India. Who knows perhaps soon, I will be able to go to an ashram as well. As I reflect on this, on top of the most amazing rocks, on the campus of Shanti Bhavan (The haven of peace), and I look at the lush green fields ahead of me, that have been nurtured back to life with the monsoon rains, I begin to pray:
I am calling for my spiritual guides,
to come !
May I be able to see them,
manifested as they may in animals,
human form
or in signs of the universe.
May the next six months reveal the answers in my questions
May I make the most of my final six months in India
Teaching
Healing
Myself
And others
And may the adventures that lay ahead
Serve
As my lessons for living
As an artist of life

P.S. Tonight as I look at my inbox I receive an e-mail from a Hare Krishna friend I met a while back in Bangalore. He tells me that this day, has been a very auspicious day in the Hare Krishna sect a day full of celebration and love. Funny, right? No coincidences here, I think my heart knew this, or I would never have wanted to enter this temple, a temple I have passed by for months now without even looking at . But this is how I am blessed, my heart knows sometimes what my mind cannot. I must remember to always follow it, no matter if it doesn’t all make sense to me now.. Somehow the answers always get revealed. Trust the universe right? Here goes..




It has been two weeks now in India, and here I am again at another temple, teaching yoga again and feeling blessed to be under yet another beautiful full moon.

India Part Deux

Yesterday I stopped by the local village, on my way back from the local town of Hosur, after running some errands, to pray with Ganesha and to do Puja. It was the first time I had been back at a temple in India.
As soon as I got off the Rickshaw, the village children surrounded me..
They wanted to see this non local white woman do puja. It is funny to refer to myself as white, even in India, because I do not see myself as a color or fit clearly in between all the check off race boxes on a survey. When you are Latina, a bit brown, a bit white and mestiza how could you? Even though I do not consider myself white, many do in India, because I do not carry an Indian name and I am not brown enough according to some. In my heart though and probably in some past life, I am clearly Hindu and not just any white woman.

But here I was yesterday, at the local village at their local temple, barefoot, laying on the floor. (a customary position done by Hindu’s when praying intently). I prayed yesterday to Ganesha, the God that removes all obstacles, as I have prayed many times to him before.. Yesterday, I prayed, to remove the obstacles of money that keep me tied to the fear of cutting my adventure short here in India. Backpacking for two months in East Asia, was fun, and I learned a lot but to be honest it was an unexpected leg of my adventure that I did not count on, and definitely has left me with a financial burden. Now, due to those two months, I am definitely living with very little and sometimes I wonder how I will make it through these next six months. But I have grown to trust the universe… money will come… if I believe in the work I am doing., everything I want will come to me again. It must. ..

Funny, here… my poverty is nothing in comparison to the children in this village I have brought my poverty upon myself . I have chosen to volunteer and not earn money. Much like a Sadhu, giving up all my material attachment, moving to India, living on barely nothing I am spreading the love as selflessly as I can.. I have managed to live for 6 months, backpack through East Asia and return back to India, always staying open, giving of my light when needed, inspiring and learning from all that came on my path. I am truly blessed!

As I meditated on this point yesterday, the village children were quick to remind me that my stress over bills was nothing compared to the real work that is yet to be done in India to overcome poverty among so many poor children. And not just India alone! There are so many more children to serve across the world.. so many more to play with, inspire , heal and teach.
.
Walking back to the Rickshaw, I took a moment to play with the kids, before I had to go back to the school...
It really opened my heart and reminded me why I am here in India now.. to help the children. The very kids I teach, and work with ,would be in the same predicament of extreme poverty as these village kids were, if Dr. George’s school Shanti Bhavan had not interevened. This year, the school had its first graduating senior class. All the students were admitted to prestigious colleges where they will begin the path to success in India, despite their Untouchable caste level. This is the movement I have come to be part of! I want to help eradicate poverty through education, yoga and the arts. Change is really happening. It is inspiring to be part of it…

I forget sometimes, why I have given up a year of my life, to do Karma yoga and volunteer. But I reframe this thought when I start to get anxious about what is next.. you know those questions that make you anxious when you think about them?.. “What will I do for money?” “How will I pay my bills?” “I can’t keep my loans in forbearance forever!” Then my mind quiets as I open my heart and I hear my inner voice. The voice of the divine mother saying:
You have not GIVEN UP a year, You have been GIVEN a year.

One year, to live in India, One year to test my limits, One year to make an impact on the lives of children that need me as much as I need them. One year to heal my heart. One year to figure out what I want to do next. One year to continue writing.. One year…of manifesting my dreams to help heal children all over the world.

I can still feel the power of India .. the love here.. I am lucky to be back here again, to be able to taste it, and live in its colors, its heat, and monsoon rains. I am lucky to pray and do Puja and Yoga in India. I am lucky to be reborn here. India is now my other home, I now know, that. No one will ever be able to take that away from me, even if I am not able to be here forever, I can always return to it if I will it…

I know because time has already shown me I can return. Now only time will tell what these next six months will be like and what I will learn from this next leg of my adventure… India part two….are you ready? I know I am….

Hong Kong- Champagne and Banyan Trees all uphill on a road full of dreams

My last leg on this visa mission back to India was Hong Kong. Here, I was to meet my beautiful and talented friend Amy who was revolutionizing the art scene in South East Asia. I was also here to meet, my dear friend Marc, who grew up here and was seeking to return to his roots, it had been a long time since I had seen either one of them. I had promised both I would come for a visit over a decade ago, and being one that never lets up on a promise, I found myself booking 30 days in Hong Kong.

As soon as I arrived, I forgot I was in East Asia. This cosmopolitan city, was full of bankers and frustrated hand bag designers all ready to sell their souls for a dime. There was of course, the yoga enthusiastists and the designers and cateres of the town. I was instantly drawn, to the sheer beauty of this concrete jungle, where the windy roads lead you up and down levels of living you have never known you wanted. All of it, an illusion of course, maya , a type of pure luxury …

I found myself sipping champagne way too often, engaging in semi intellectual conversations, meeting countless great contacts but in my heart I was missing India. I quickly recovered from my attachment to this comfortable illusion full of , high heels, expensive cars and sexy French men ready to dance the night away with me. I had to channel the divine again. I felt I was getting lost in this city and it had only been one week!
To my pleasure, I found the beautiful banyan trees that were outgrowing their concrete walls in my walks of meditation. I kissed them every time I passed by them on these very narrow and steep streets. I think they were a metaphor for my existence. Pure light and spirituality intermixed with the concrete wants of illusion and luxury. But there were signs given to me by the universe, that I had arrived at my destination. Hong Kong was here to teach me lessons I could sense it . There was the beautiful turquoise butterfly that greeted me, on my very first walk down Breezy Path. There was the strength of the stream I passed by everyday to the metro. There was the strong rocks and tender cold ocean that greeted me everytime I sought it out. I was surely to be blessed in that land of illusion.
Despite the greed of this city, I could see everyone was seeking some spiritual comfort, even if they seldomly admitted it. I could feel it... I saw it at the temples, which always had patrons praying with their expensive handbags in tow. Most of the time, I was the hippie in HK, but I didn’t mind it. I felt in my own way I was inspiring a small spiritual revolution among these lost expats, eager to make loads of money and drink every night. .
I had to remind myself that I could easily fall into the same illusion, but that I was also the lover, the artist that all Hong Kongnese crave to be. I like to hope that my time here inspired those I met to follow their dreams, despite what it would equal to their bank accounts. But I knew in order to do this, I had to stay on track. I had to remember to follow my path, by practicing meditation everyday and staying in tune with the universe, following the moon, the ocean and the animals that came before. Me… om shanti..
My final days here leave me thinking: What will become of me and Hk? Let me learn these lessons kindly and let me not forget the beauty of this delicate balance of luxury and nature named appropriately Hong Kong…

Full moon party Yay or Nay?

So, again, sans computer, sans the ability to word doc, here I am writing purely free style again!

When I first heard about this Full Moon Party I was excited to celebrate the moon in Thailand by the ocean. But as I arrived in Koh Pangan, I came to realize how Young this party really was. The beautiful 18-21 crowd isn't really my scene, so I was a bit disappointed.

However, that being said...
I loved dressing up, using body paint, and dancing on the beach. That night, I danced the night away, meditating with the moon, laughing with the stars, living in the moment. My feet tasted the sand, I moved with the rythym of the Shaman in me. I loved every moment.

So, if you are like me and can bring the party wherever you go, then it really doesn't matter if you ever get to go to the Full Moon Party in Thailand. Just make sure, you find a moment, when the moon is full and dance with it. If you can be near the ocean this is ideal. But, if you cannot, do not fret. Just find it.

Every 28 days, it appears in the sky and graces us with the beauty of its light. Be under the light, remember that the moon grants your every wish. Be sure to state your affirmations, plant your seeds of intentions. It is said, she helps grant these and that every month under the moon, we should state our intentions.

Remember the light of the moon. It is here to remind you of your light. You are light! And as long as she is with you, wherever you are, you will never be alone. The moon is the goddess. I am the goddess. You are the goddess. We are warriors of life and peace.

Please go out there this month and party under the moon! Its better than any VIP table/party anywhere on this planet.

Om Shanti!

Rock Climbing Divinely

As I write this, purely without editing, due to my labtop having technical difficulties, I pray this spontaneous post will have some meaning to those who are following me on this blog and that the grammar is not horrific to read through.

This last week, here in Thailand I have spent it on Ko Phi Phi and Railay where there are some of the most beautiful cliffs to climb. Climbing has become a beautiful obsession of mine, ever since i tasted it in Vermont about a decade ago. Back then, I was afraid of the height and the fear of falling and had a hard time trusting my partner who was belaying me ( holding my rope).

SO, when I attempted to climb 10 years later, in Thailand, I came to it, with an open heart, and open mind. My body and mind having evolved, with Yoga and meditation, were ready or so I thought, for this new adventure...

But back on the rope, my body close to the rock, my hands grasping for a hold, tearing in agony as I tried to hold myself up, I became quickly fatigued and fought hard to overcome my mind's weakness. You are your thoughts. It is clearly evident, that mind over matter is true when you are climbing. But, I was lucky, the team below always encouraged me and pulled for me to make it to the top.

As I let go, and stood 75 feet above ground level, I grasped onto life, pure Lila(divine play). I sought for balance of body and mind. I kissed, literally the rocks in front of me. I honored my strength. I became one with the warrior in me.

For the team below, it was just another climb, but for me, it was an ultimate sign of strength, an obstacle I wanted to overcome. A dance against the cliffs, so delicate you could fall at any minute. Fall and confirm the fear, or climb in grasp of hope. I transcended time, anxiety, fear, and moved to love, life and strength.

It dawned on me at this moment that the cliffs that were before me and the act of climbing, were a form of living poetry. A beautiful dance of evolution. So what is the lesson here?
Lesson #1 Face your fears, be open! An open heart equals an open body and mind.

P.S. I can't wait to go again. My hands are now slowly recovering, but my mind is ready. Are you ready to face your fears? Trying taking small steps. Taste your growth! Its delicious!

Patong Phuket- lady boys, seedy beaches and bucket drinks all for the price of your tourist dreams

Much like expected Phuket was full of many revelations hidden among easy frustrating circumstances. I decided to leave Bangkok on Thai’s New Year, Songkram, where it is tradition to splash water on each other. The water is supposed to renew you, and bless you. It’s the Thai’s version of an instant cleansing, where all sins are forgotten and you are able to start new again. In concept, it’s a beautiful idea, when traveling for 24 hours with a backpack and your laptop via bus and tuk tuk taxi in the hot sun; it can prove to be very frustrating.

As I entered Phuket town, I was fatigued, under fed and hot! I was however blessed to have met new friends who instantly became my allies as we tried to get to Patong, a 30 minute ride from Phuket town. But a seemingly easy feat turned nearly impossible with the huge water gun fight being held in Patong. Literally, lady boys, children and their parents all throwing buckets of water to any incoming innocent bystander, with luggage, laptop or not! And if you were to put into the mix, alcohol, cheesy fararng (the non-Thai) tourists and a poor lost taxi driver you can easily see how my patience was tested nearly too many times. Revelation number one: Be in the moment, allow yourself to be soaked and trust that you will eventually get to your destination.

As I arrive soaked, tired and now cold, I was told that the water had been shut. My Thai Guesthouse had apparently run out of water and for the next three days, I would have to use water bottles to shower. Revelation number two: All comforts can easily be taken away from you. Be one with the unexpected. Feel blessed you can afford to buy bottled water.

The following day, I was off to the beach. The famous Patong beach was just as expected full of cheesy tourists, and beautiful lady boys. I cannot complain, I was after all near the ocean. I cleansed my crystals and was grateful to taste the salt of the Andaman Sea. I have tasted the Red, Indian, Pacific, and now another part of the whole the Andaman Sea. The ocean, the great mother that nearly destroyed this town during the Tsunami of 2004 has eased my frustrations. And as quickly as I mourned the loss of life during the Thai Red Shirt revolution, I am quickly reborn. I stop to think: Perhaps that Songkram water did work its magic?

I am now more open as I walk among the seedy surnburnt tourists looking for an easy good time, in a land full of exhibitionism and neon lights. Tomorrow I will go to Ko Phi Phi, to face another island, where I will see yet another beach, meet new people and say goodbye to these friends that have come to teach me brief lessons full of Vipassana meditation wisdom, basic Thai cultural understanding and openness to relationships where yes, a seemingly straight man can love a lady boy and treat her like his queen. Love is blind.
Ah Yes, did I fail to mention that I have been running around Paton with 3 Buddhist Spanish and Italian boys and one Thai Lady Boy, who like me, follow the Mayan Calendar?! The universe is certainly very interesting. I have enjoyed making my friends’ love interest into a beautiful lady, making her up and dancing to the wee hours in seedy Patong’s bar district with her. Patong gives South Beach and Ventura Beach a run for its money.

I leave Patong, with only one thought: Can the cycle of an easy good escapist time at the sacrifice of another’s happiness ever be broken, when will we allow ourselves to fall out of the cycle of addiction. I hope these tourists wake up someday and learn to embrace their shadow instead of always flocking to places like Thailand to live in their shadow. Final lesson: I cannot change other people’s business, only mine. I must live by example. I cannot be attached to my ego, to what I think is right. As I sit here writing this, I look down at my new tattoo where the “Om Namah Shivayah” mantra is written. Perhaps I not only honor the Divine teacher in others that is also within me, but I also honor the Shadow that is within all of us. May we continue to walk into the light and allow our shadows to be exposed for all to see. It is only in the darkness of our shadow after all, that we can see the light.

Bangkok: A journey of Love and War amongst the Golden Buddhas

I landed in Bangkok and was relieved to see so many women greeting me at the terminal. I did not feel sexual repression here, as I had in India or Sri Lanka. Needless to say, I was told I would meet people traveling alone and I did! As I sat alone for dinner that evening, 4 of the greatest guys offered to buy dinner. We went out and they showed me the club district and the go-go girls that Bangkok is so famous for. I danced all night, literally! When I thought this can’t get any better, we stopped by a popular alley where everyone eats at 6 am. I kept thinking to myself: And this is day one?
I had the most amazing connection with these guys. They had all been to India. India was still very much present in my energy. India was calling me. They spoke to me about their stories in Pushkar and Varanassi. I fell in love all over again, if only for 24 hours. I even had soul recognition with the beautiful Italian man in the group, who had Ganesha tattooed on his arm. We stayed up all night together, I never once grew tired. We talked about our past, in this life and dabbled on our ideas on how we must have known each other in past lives. It was amazing. I know I was meant to cross his path as he did mine. But, I had to remind myself that this was only day one, I needed to slow down, lucky for me these guys were all getting flights out the following day. I was back on my own again. Sad to disconnect but knowing my journey was meant to be alone. Only when I am alone does the world teach me. I have a lot to learn.
As the days followed, the world did go on to teach me. I continued to meet people on Khao San, all coincidentally, having a connection to India. I walked to the amulet market, sat in the presence of many golden Buddhas, but what was supposed to be beautiful, chaotic and perhaps even romantic turned ugly my final days visiting the temples due to the Red Shirt Revolution. On one of my final nights, walking from the amulet market, I walked into a tear gas bomb, near the Democracy Monument where the Red shirts have been staging protests all week. And as quickly as I felt the gas in my eyes and in my throat, I ran towards Khao San, I heard the bullets and the beginning of the violence. I sat in my room for what seemed like forever lucky to have close shelter nearby, and when it was all said and done, went downstairs to discover that there had been many casualties.
Being in Thailand now, I feel like I am watching history in the making. Both my parents suffered so much from political revolutions in their own countries, El Salvador and Cuba. This revolution has the smell and taste of what I only heard about every day as a child. Now, I too have seen brains splattered on the concrete. Now I too, can say I have seen the eyes and pain of war. But I am lucky, I get to leave, to forget, if I would like to.
But this violence for the sake of democracy like so many others going on all over the world, reminds me that war is everywhere. It reminds me that there is a lot of work to be done in the world. I am reminded that I must continue to live my life as an example of peace and love. That we must all continue to live this way, teaching and inspiring each other, so that someday, in some lifetime, there will truly be peace for all. I have to go on living hoping this will be so. I do not want any more children to grow up hearing the bullets, fearing the bombs. I fear for this world, but in that fear I grow. I wake up today and I practice, meditating on love and peace. Because, even one individual can make a difference, it’s the only hope I have to hold on to.
Today I pray about the violence of yesterday and the peace of tomorrow. I pray: May the souls sacrificed last night for the sake of democracy rest in peace and may Bangkok, and the rest of the world for that matter, be funneled with love and peaceful energy so that someday, we can all rest easier when we put our children to bed at night.

A Poem for Bangkok

My Bangkok
Amidst the streets lined with golden buddhas
Hidden dreams are forgotten on Khao San Road
Where at 7 am junkies are walking among Buddhist Monks
All living for today
Afterall isn’t it Present Moment only Moment?
A Red Shirt revolution is near
And I wonder am I just a witness
Or a director
Of this dream?
Bangkok
Land of girlie boys
Ping Pong Shows
Sex
And Buddhism
All lingering under the smell of curry
And Thai Iced teas
Who knows what tomorrow will bring…

You would think that traveling to India by myself would have been enough of an adventure for me, but apparently the universe wanted me to see more of the world. I really struggled with leaving India, my new home. It has meant so much to me, to be there. So with great regret and with much curiosity I packed my backpack and embarked on my new adventure to see the rest of South East Asia.
I landed in Colombo, Sri Lanka on Poya holiday, the holiday that celebrates the full moon. They do this holiday every month here, and as I arrive, I think to myself: it would only be appropriate that I begin my journey on the full moon, the moon that I honor and feel blessed to be connected to.

On the streets, I was shocked to see the militia army on almost every corner with their M-16s fully out. This was partly my naiveté for it seems only natural that a country that has suffered so much due to its arduous civil war would still be guarded a year after its final peace talks have been implemented. I found Colombo too overwhelming and boring, so I quickly took a train to Kandy, the famous town in the hill country. The beautiful ride on the train confirmed to me that my soul needed this adventure, even if it was presented at a time in my life where I did not think I had the energy for any more adventures other than India.

In Kandy, I went to see the Temple of the Tooth, the Caves filled with Buddhas in Dambulla and the wild elephants at the Elephant orphanage in Pinewella. It was here that I began to understand the power that travel can have. I was so moved by all the new tastes and smells and energies here. Up in the caves of Dambulla I was blessed by a Hindu priest, later I meditated with ancient Buddhas and stopped to do an asana to show my gratitude to these caves and this energy I felt.

I quickly moved to see my final chosen destination in Sri Lanka: Hikkaduwa the Surfer capital of this tiny island. I had to end my trip with some R&R and some beautiful beaches right? There is something about being near the ocean that moves me, and inspires revolutions of peace inside my heart. I meditated here, worked on my practice and even dug my feet in the sand while I cleansed my crystals. I even took a surf lesson. In those two days, I did everything to just be near the water. I needed its fluidity and its healing qualities to help me become grounded.
I was moved by each person I met on this trip as well. The beautiful family on my ride to Hikkaduwa, who offered me enough to eat on the 6 hour journey, or the Japanese backpacker who had spent a month studying Vipanassa meditation. I also was grateful for my new friend Tony, a physics TA at a school in Qatar, who instantly became my backpacking buddy and who even came to meet me in Hikkaduwa after climbing Adam’s Peak. There were of course the local surfer boys who taught me to just enjoy life and let go a little bit. And just like that the first country on my tour was over. I found myself up at 2 am packing up yet again for another adventure. To the beautiful land of Thailand, who knows who and what will inspire me here. Only time will tell…

MYSORE- The land of silk, regal palaces and beautiful gardens

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In the past two weeks, I have had to come to terms with my having to leave India due to Visa restrictions. I have had to embrace the idea of traveling once again, outside of India. So, you can imagine my excitement when I was presented with the opportunity to taste India one last time, in the beautiful city of Mysore. One of our volunteers at Shanti Bhavan invited me to come for the weekend.
After a 4 hour drive, we came into the city, home to sandalwood oils, pure silk, Mysore Yoga and one of the most beautiful palaces in India to date. Here, I was moved by the authenticity of its people, the tastes and flavors of the Devraja Market and delighted by the magical Palace and the fountains at the Brindavan Gardens. I even got to visit a Tibetan Settlement, where the Dali Lama’s inspiration of peace could be felt everywhere among the Tibetan Buddhist monks we met.
What moved me the most however, was the Chamundi Hill temple. It was here, according to legend that the demon Mahishasura tried to rule over the Hindu gods who fought with no prevail to conquer this demon. It was only after he declared that only a woman could take him down, that the Gods put two and two together and transformed themselves into their female forms. It was on this very hill that the great goddess of Durga conquered Mahishasura. This temple is dedicated to her, the great goddess. I could feel her spirit and energy here.
Standing up on this hill, watching a Havan (a prayer circle) being performed at the temple , I was approached by an Indian native, who asked me how it felt to be here in India. At that moment, I was truly at peace and I responded to my own surprise: “I feel I am finally home.” In which, he smiled and did not know what to say. I am usually approached in India by its natives who can speak English, thinking I am just another tourist, so I am used to justifying my living in India. It is hard sometimes to convey that I may not be Indian by ethnicity but I truly feel I am Indian in spirit. How do you portray that when you don’t look the part? I know that none of that matters. What matters is my faith, my devotion to something that is greater than me. It is this faith that I put into the string that the Sadhu outside the Chamundi Hill temple tied around my neck and it is this faith that I use to pray to Ganesha , when I ask him to bring me back to india to finish what I have begun here. It is this faith that allows me to tap into the divine and help me help others, including myself.
But it is of course hard to leave India after only being here for three months. I have yet to see the rest of the south and most importantly visit my guru Maharaji’s ashram. But, I must trust what the universe wants is for the better. I will return. I must. I have made a promise to the students here that I will be here in June, when the Seniors will graduate. The very first graduation at Shanti Bhavan, it will be history in the making. Until then, plans begin to head to Sri Lanka, Thailand and Hong Kong. I have two weeks to go. Cross your fingers, another adventure awaits!

Holi - manifesting the colors of my dreams

As I hold powdered yellow in my hand and I am running among the 4th and 5th grade classes celebrating Holi, a traditional Hindu celebration, very much like Easter, celebrating Spring, Fertility and Life, I realize that I am laughing for the first time in a long time. I have become present. The child within me is awakened.
Today, we have gotten permission to play with the lower grades and use color to celebrate Holi. As the children paint me with their ever open hearts, I return the favor rather playfully painting them with yellows, greens, and fuschia pinks to name a few. As we begin to finish our colors, I begin to see a mural of hope laid out before me in these children’s faces. Perhaps, it’s the hope and love I have for them that is emanating in these colors that are now so beautifully painted on their faces and hands and clothing that I catch a hold of. If not for just this moment, we are all happy here in the soccer fields. Taking in the Indian Sun and the joy of simply playing. This is truly divine play or what is better known in Sanskrit as- Lila.
These colors have cleansed me. Appropriately so, this holiday has begun on the full moon of Virgo. The time of cleansing, and letting go. Here under this moon, wearing my full color, I pray:
Allow the yellow that is drenched upon me to remind me of my light and strength
Allow the fuschia pink to open and heal my heart.
Let the blue allow my voice to be heard
and may the purple connect me to the divine
so I can live and honor my truth, no matter where it takes me, let me not be afraid of the path I lead. Let me always remember my inner child, let me play with color everyday, even if it is in my own imagination. Let me color my life, let me play and take all that life gives me in its moment, seeing it for the opportunities it presents and not for its limits.
Holi is truly holy. A special day full of my favorite past time, color, coloring and painting while playing! I hope to celebrate many more Holi celebrations here and in the States. I hope many of you will join me.
Shanti.

Pondicherry- Je t'aime!

As we rolled in to this picturesque town of Pondicherry, an old French colony that had influenced its Indian natives in more ways than one, I knew it was going to live up to its description in Indian Vogue. Yes, I do read Indian fashion magazines! They seem a novelty to me here in rural India. What’s a girl to do in the middle of nowhere on a Friday night? But this is for another time, back to Pondicherry.
Here in Pondicherry, Temples meet Colonial Style homes, all against the backdrop of the Indian Ocean, need I say more? Oh, and did I mention, the Chocolate Croissants and Café Au Laits are plenty, which seemed to please my deprived Chocoholic self. Since this was a seaside town, I was also met with amazing seafood options as well as fresh fruit juice and even soy milk which is hard to find at Shanti Bhavan. We arrived at sunrise, and by the rocks I sat and meditated and did yoga. Afterwards I treated myself to a buffet fit for a king!
I then I went to see the famous elephant named appropriately Lakshmi. She stood in front of Ganesha’s temple. I gave her food and she blessed me. I have never been blessed by an elephant before. I was blown away by the grandeouse act of this beautiful elephant. She walked around inside the temple, while I waited to do puja ( an act of devotion to the Hindu gods often involving Coconuts, Bananas,Red and White Powder, Fire and Rose Water among others). Later I ate and walked around town.
The multicultural impact of this town could be felt everywhere. I heard Spanish, French, Hindi, Tamil and even some German. Pondicherry, is definitely has a bohemian atmosphere to say the least, full of hippies and lovers of all. A laid back town, where the stores close at Noon and re-open at Four’o clock for an Indian Siesta I suppose!
The next day, I found out, that we could take a boat to a semi-private beach. I grew overwhelmed with joy! The ride by boat on the Bay of Bengal was beautifully serene. Slowly, as the boat docked, I was able to catch a glimpse of the shores of the Indian Ocean. The Indian Ocean was magnificent! It was here that it dawned on me, that no matter how far or close I go, the ocean will always be my temple of choice. I spent the day on an isolated beach, where I freely got to wear my swimsuit (this is saying a lot, since women do not usually shed this much skin in India!) Here I meditated, and prayed and cleansed my crystals. Here I found my peace again. I had not bathed in the ocean for months now, and I really missed the peace of mind the ocean had and always gives me. I found it here.
I felt less alone, next to her, this grand ocean, the vast goddess that never stops flowing. Here I was blessed . It was here I sat under a palm tree watching the fisherman village nearby collecting fish with nets, and the school girls dipping their feet in the ocean (by the looks of their faces, perhaps for the first time) that I was gratefully humbled. It is common knowledge , according to my fellow Indian volunteer that accompanied me, along with two others to Pondicherry, that many Indians do not live near the Ocean and do not learn how to swim. The signs “Not Allowed to Swim” were everywhere. I was in shock when I heard this. I do not know if I could stop myself from going in this ocean, how sorry I felt for the non-swimmers, who stood longingly staring at the ocean, not to be able to be immerse themselves deep in her embrace. This ocean has a power that always draws me in. I would probably rather drown than not taste her power, her salt and her genius calm.
Three days later upon my return on this 6 hour trip, I am more relaxed and ever grateful for the opportunity to have had a true vacation, Miami Beach style, the rest of my travels in India will not be the same I predict. For this I will always cherish the comforts of Pondicherry, the ocean and the time spent here and I just might be back to this town if time permits again…

Here are more Birthday Pics!

A Sari and the Girl who dreamed of wearing one...

As human beings, we are always trying to define our experiences with symbols that remind us of momentous occasions, beautiful or dark. I know I have done that with the tattoos I wear on my body. They are symbols of triumphs and losses. They tell my story, reminding me not to forget.
In India, I have grown to believe the women do the same with their saris. Each one so delicately tailored for an event, whether good or bad. Saris are made for a wedding, a graduation, a birthday or an anniversary. They are carefully chosen, tailored, draped and put on. That is why I chose to get my first sari for my birthday. I wanted to mark my arrival in India, with one of its strongest symbols: the sari.
The process that goes into making a sari was so much more complicated than I expected yet necessary. The textile pieces had to be delicately chosen, as a silk sari will drape differently than a cotton sari. Where you shop for your sari, is also a huge deal, but I chose to go into the small town where I teach, Hosur. I wanted my first sari to be simple and humble. As I looked at the million options before me, I was almost moved to tears when I found the one I was looking for. Like love at first sight, you always know when you see it, but until then you cannot describe what you are looking for. The choices were endless!
As I bought my beautiful pink, orange and turquoise blue sari material, and as they took my measurements, I began to get emotional. This sari, is a symbol, just like all the other saris the women wear on the streets of India. I too will now tell a story with my sari. I will say, this was my first sari, the one I got the first time I was in India. The one I dreamed of wearing for years in the States. I will tell of how I worked 3 jobs to raise the money to come to India to wear this sari. I will remember the tears at the airport and with many friends as I said goodbye to the comforts of America wearing this sari. This sari will drape proudly on my yogi body, showing my Om on my back. It will let the world know, I have come to heal, not only myself but to extend my wisdom to these children at Shanti Bhavan and to the people I meet in India. I will tell of how I feel my soul is finally home, that I have come here to settle something that is beyond me, perhaps from my past karma. I will tell how this sari starts this story, the one I am living in right now. I only hope I have the wisdom to understand it as it unfolds.
Today on my birthday I will wear this Sari, my beautiful gold anklets, a bindi on my forehead, and the henna on my hands. I will wear lilies in my hair and I will go to temple, to receive a blessing. On this day I will pray:
Gods of India, Ganesha .Laskshmi, Saraswati, Hanuman. Maharaji(my guru), Gods of Gods, and the beautiful Universe, please bless me this year. May I remember the goals I have set before me. I want to change the world with my love. Allow me to do that. Let me find all the answers I am looking for in India. Rid me of my bad karma. Let me make peace with my heart and embrace the love that is within me and reflect it onto those I cross paths with. Allow me to always be compassionate. Remind me always to follow my heart and in doing so, let it bring me abundance in health, love and wealth.

Open Heart- Under my First Full Moon in India!

When I was little, I used to fantasize that I would be rescued from my crazy Cuban El Salvadoran household. I used to look up at the moon and wish that one day, my prince would come riding in shining armor to rescue me. As I grew older, everything I was exposed to pushed me to believe this myth. My mom constantly supported the idea that I would need to be rescued. Whether she knew it or not, she was teaching me to believe that I could not survive by myself in this crazy world. I don’t entirely blame her, I think women in general are taught to believe they cannot be without a man in their life. But time and experience has shown me otherwise.
Funny tonight, here I am in India, under the same sky and under my first full moon (the moon is definitely brighter here). I don’t know if it’s the full moon’s energy or just me, but I wake up in panic tonight about my destiny with love. Yes, I still worry about this at 32-years of age! My mind always wanders back to the same questions: What If when I return from this adventure, I have not found what I am looking for? Will I be able to find healthy love again? Will I be able to find a job ? Will I be able to create a family as I have planned for in the upcoming year? Or will I be alone, still broken hearted and jobless?
I have travelled so far, hoping I will find answers here... but really in looking, am I still seeking to be rescued? Who will truly rescue me? I don’t think anyone can. I know I am here to rescue myself, no one else knows me enough to come close. .. And what do I need to be rescued from really? From my loneliness? My broken heart? I know now, I need to be rescued from me! From those myths in my mind that promote the idea that I am alone and that I am not enough.
I know I have come here to face myself. That time will test me, and that only time will show me the warrior inside me. It really is hard sometimes not to fear. I think we all have this fear of ending up alone. It never seems to escape us. But the funny thing is we are not alone. We have the moon, the ocean and the world at our feet. We have so much love within us. Sometimes it is hard to see it. I am learning in India, that I can do anything I set my mind to do and that I am strong enough to be alone with myself.
India is teaching me, along with this past year, that I don’t need a relationship but would like to be in one. I don’t need kids, but I would like to be a mother. That I don’t “need” but would “like”..love.. the type of love that is beautifully strong, that champions my independence and loves me the way I love myself.
We all deserve more than we think we do and I really think we can find the love we are looking for, if we believe we deserve it. Why not? I am reminded of this thought, here at Shanti Bhavan when I take a look at my girls who are still learning about life and I know I have come to teach them to be strong and courageous. I have come to teach them that they are worthy of love, love for themselves and love to be received from others. I have come to show them that: You can be the maker of your destiny. That they should be proud of being born a woman even if sometimes this is not supported here in rural India. I come to teach by example, that they too can be break the cycle of dependence.
When a fifth grader tells me “ I will never be able to have “ I correct her and and say “ You can have whatever you want, that is why you are here, to work hard and get a good education that will get you a good job and then you will have enough money to do with it, what you want.”
I’d like to think I am teaching these girls to become their own warriors, their own prince in shining armor. So I look at the full moon in the Indian sky, and I think India yet again reveals another mission in my life : I will start a revolution of strong beautiful women, one girl at a time. But I must start somewhere right? So, I am starting with this girl, right now , right here, under this moon..
I proclaim another affirmation and lesson:
I am a warrior princess. Strong and courageous. Bold and beautiful. Open and ready to give and receive love. This is why I am here in India, to finally hold my heart and sit silently under the moon, with Ganesha as my witness, and make my wish:
May I never stop believing in love, the kind of love that is strong and powerful and lays within me. And may I have the wisdom to reflect it on any one who is willing to receive it, so we can transform each other, and in one way or another transform the world...

Food for thought.. India's spices inspire!

On this hot day, after much temple visiting, I grow weary and hungry. I am relieved to see that I am given Prasad at the Hare Krishna Temple (ISKCON) in Bangalore. I sit and eat my meal, given to me in a coconut leaf bowl. I rinse my mouth with coconut water which has been sprinkled on me several times today as a blessing.
After stopping at several other temples along the way, I finally arrive at City Centre to meet my fellow volunteers and faculty super hungry! They begin by taking me on a gastronomical adventure! First, we stop at a booth randomly tucked in to a corner of Church st., after crossing a million cars and almost getting hit by several of them. I watch as they make “Paan”, a leaf sprinkled with tobacco, rosepetals dipped in honey, and various other ingredients that are said to help with digestion and boosts energy! Its crunchy and a bit of “a party in my mouth”, but overall refreshing and believe me, I am not trying to be cliché about it!
We then move on to get some Kulfi, which is a delicious ice cream gelato made from pistachios and saffron served on a stick. This is a treat, since the day has only grown hotter walking down the side streets of Bangalore city centre in the hunt for Yoga books.

I will begin to teach yoga to the upper level girls at 6:30 am twice a week starting this upcoming week! I am excited and honored to teach Indian youth, a craft that originated here. I am also daunted by the idea that I will be teaching Yoga in India. The principle had approached me about it last week and the kids have been asking me to teach them more about yoga for a while now, it was just a matter of time. And can I really say no? Obviously, part of my mission here in India is to grow as a teacher of many things, one now also being that of Yoga.
But more on that later, back to my delicious experience with Indian food! My ice cream is followed by Indian Chaat, which is amazingly spicy and almost unbearable but of course I politely eat it and try to hold back the tears and runny nose that has been produced by the spiciness and that has clearly overwhelmed my senses.

I stop to think, I am delighted to continue to learn more about India and about its food and religious practices. I am humbled by the culinary genius of the country and moved by its gorgeous rituals created to honor their gods. We finally end the day, smoking Hookah at a fabulous café named: Mocha, where all the hip modern Indian youth go to smoke and drink coffee.
As we take the 2 hour drive home, I grow tired. I fall asleep in the car.. dreaming of the treasures I have experienced today; puja (the ritual to bless the gods and yourself), my new copy of Autobiography of a Yogi, and the taste of Watermelon mint from the Hookah… I am truly blessed to know India. I feel grateful everyday for being here. I am excited for more adventures both gastronomical and spiritual!

The Many Colors of India..

It seems there is nothing dull about India, including the colors of its earth, which is a redish deep brick-like color. The layers of beauty come from its simplicity. India is an abstract painting full of Ganeshas, OM’s and colorful arrays of recycled papered stands. Even the Pooja flowers strung everyday for the Gods are a gorgeous mix of Orange, Reds, Yellow and White. The sunsets and sunrises are a magnificent hue of pinks and orange, they definitely inspire. With so much visual stimulation, it is no wonder India has produced so many gurus and drawn so many spiritual seekers here. This is the visual mecca of the world!
And then there are the Saris, the palettes of bright Fuschias, deep blues and yellows are astounding. The women who wear these Saris are just as beautiful. These women wear their bindis full of pride and hold themselves so ever gracefully while walking in their saris. It is a sight to be seen (an art form all together). India is a moving painting, a feast for the eyes, which is inspiring me everyday.
Although I do not get to go off the grounds of Shanti Bhavan that often, even in the middle of these tropical farmlands, I am moved visually. The deep rocks I climb to meditate in the evening where I often get to catch the sunsets and picturesque grounds that surround Shanti Bhavan bring me my daily Zen. The moon and the stars shine brightly here in this haven of peace, where the kids dream soundly at night. I often wonder how much they miss their families and how many tears are shed silently at night, but I trust that their must be peace and laughter shared in their dreams too.
These children are teaching me every day, they help me remember what is truly important in life. For example, in a days work, which starts at 6 am for me and often ends at 9pm, a lifetime of work is done. The mother in me is definitely coming out! I kiss boo boos, I wipe tears, do conflict-resolution when kids are bullied and even manage to build group morale and self-esteem in Math class. As a therapist, I don’t think I know any other way than to approach my volunteerism from a therapeutic lens. I hope I can model for these children that despite where they come from and what they have learned from their families and their peers, that they too can be peace keepers and can stand up for what is right. They can teach love and tolerance by the way they live their life. The array of colors and textures, even in the personalities of these children, has brought me to life again.
India and Shanti Bhavan, mix beautifully for me. I have been craving this painting, and I am learning to embrace it even with its complexities that seem full of potential. I will mix these colors with pain, love, struggle and a lot of patience, to create my own masterpiece of life…

Finally Homesick! A lesson on letting go...

I have finally become homesick. It surprised me how little time it took for me to grow needy of American comforts, such as warm showers, non-spicy food and internet access! I miss my endless texting (silly I know) and my beautiful friends, who have throughout this year, kept my heart at ease when I grew sad and lonely and sometimes even kept my head above water. But, perhaps being homesick is normal? It feels like a shedding of a cocoon,( which I have seen a lot of lately on the trees, they have the most beautiful butterflies here). As I overcome my homesickness, I know I am shedding all unnecessary attachments. I try in my own way, to woman up!

I grow in fear that the “I” of me is being swallowed into a bigger whole here. This “I” does not serve me. The fear comes from my ego talking. When we attach ourselves to what is, and who we are, we miss out on inner growth and often needed self-reflection. Sometimes, we need to take ourselves outside the box to gain perspective. The only way to grow, is to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone. Being in India, an excercise of survival for me. Here, I am learning to become greater that I am. In India, I am learning to trust the universe to align what is right, and rid me of what is wrong.

My body certainly is undergoing its changes too! I have eliminated all the excesses. I no longer eat meat, drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes or engage in sexual relationships. I have taken a vow of abstinence and purification. I have also taken the ultimate vow of Karma Yoga.: To teach, 24/7 and inspire, practice yoga and honor myself through helping others. As we know, when you teach, you learn.
Shanti Bhavan is in the middle of nowhere. It is no wonder they call it Shanti Bhavan, it is a real peace haven here. And of course, the children have won me over. I get up at 6 am everyday to teach and tutor and my days seem endlessly dedicated to helping these kids learn math,theatre and yoga, while simultaneously building rapport among my volunteers and staff. When the day is finally finished, there is little time left for my yoga practice and self-reflection. I must set clear boundaries to do this on my off time. I am also trying, to learn Hindi while I am here and observe the Indian customs and holidays.
I am eager to visit and travel in India, so far it has been Hosur and Bangalore, but I am always grateful when I do return home to Shanti Bhavan. The traveling in India is stressful and sometimes painstakingly full of traffic and pollution. Even though I complain about this bubble at Shanti Bhavan, I know I am desperately needed here, that these children need me. That I have come for a reason, that I have come to join this family of 200 children who without me and the other brave and courageous volunteers , teachers and staff would be in their villages, slaves to poverty, sexual and physical abuse and ignorance.
It is hard sometimes, looking at these kids, to believe where they have come from, and what they have survived already. When I grow homesick, I remind myself of their pain. I remember mine as a kid. I try to share with them. I try to inspire them, with my stories of how I used my education to break out of my impoverished home and go to college on a full scholarship. I’d like to think, I am modeling for them, that yes you can! That no dream is unattainable. That no matter what and where they have been, they can overcome, they can use their minds to break the odds and the ropes of poverty. That one day, as one shanti bhavan child said to me, “No one can will be able to take away what is in my mind, even if I continue to be poor”.
I must hold their dreams and goals, tenderly in my heart, and plant them with my own. Afterall, they are entrusting me with them. I am sure these seeds, while I am here, will see many seasons of change and struggle, but they will flourish with love and compassion as well as laughter. I can’t wait to see these seeds grow side by side we will make a garden of peace…

My First Day in India: The Revolution Begins Now

During my first day in India, I arrive just in time for sunrise. I eat Samosas at the Mumbai airport and anxiously await the final leg of my trip to Bangalore. I am ready to arrive to my post at Shanti Bhavan (The Haven of Peace) where I will be the volunteer coordinator who will be helping boost volunteer morale and support the academic team, as well as become the liason with Artists Striving to End Poverty and the George Foundation (Both amazing organizations you should check them out!). On arrival to the Bangalore airport, I am picked up by my driver and am eased immediately by the Ganesh on his dashboard. I go on to pass 3 Ganeshas on my two hour drive to Shanti Bhavan.
I grow in wonder of all the signs that have already been put on my path on this journey affirming that I am seeking my truth and that all obstacles before me can be overcome.
Once I am at Shanti Bhavan I learn quickly that I will be teaching a full schedule of math courses to 3rd, 4th and 5th graders. I will also be responsible for teaching Theatre classes to the grades school kids. I am also asked to produce a cheerleading/dance for a show that will help ideally raise awareness and perhaps funds for our kids at Shanti Bhavan. It has been a long time since I have choreagraphed, no pressure eh?
The day flies by, I meet the staff and lots of the children. I eat the most amazing but spicy vegetarian food! I grow jet lagged it is time for me to sleep. Tomorrow, I will spring a line to hang my handwash. I laugh at this thought, thinking what my mother would say if she saw me now. Afterall, she grew up in a small village, where there was no other option but to handwash. She came to America to give her children better options, and here her daughter was, purposely removing all the American comforts and illusions, for her personal growth and benefit.
Tonight, as I bathe in cold water with buckets, there is a power outage. In the dark I begin to laugh yet gain at myself , I’ve surely outdone myself. I am living in my own adventure novel in India! A girl will do anything to prove her strength and her love. Here, she is proving herself to herself and to those who think she cannot.
I am stronger than I think I am. We are always stronger than we think we are. I am a warrior of love, a warrior of peace. I must deliver with compassion, and prove even to myself that rules are meant to be broken. I must be the rebel with a cause. My cause is the revolution I am inspiring within . Hoping that if I live my truth, it will start a war of consciousness for others to live by as I do.
Only time will tell if I will be able to survive this self- imposed revolution. The bar has been set. The journey is now…

The 14 hour Flight: A Lesson on Love

I haven’t even landed in India per say and I am already in the classroom soaking in the lessons before me from the very people who put spirituality on the map. Sitting next to me on the plane? Sir Maharaja. Ironic since Maharaja means the king of all kings. It also happens to be the name of my beloved guru Maharaji, known by many as the guru of love who most famously inspired the Beatles, Krishna Das, Ram Giri and Ram Dass in the book Be Here Now. ( I highly recommend this book if you have never read it). Either way, Mr. Maharaja really? Could this be a sign?
As we grow tired, his mother-in-law, who speaks not a word of English, kindly motions to me to take the two seats to sleep and moves to sleep on the floor aisle of the plane, I am amazed at her kindness. When she is awoken and told she must sit in her seat by a flight attendant, she comes back to her seat and immediately puts my head on her lap. She insists on petting my hair, and for this moment, I am her child, falling asleep open to a mother’s love. This love has transcended time and relationships. Here is where my heart opens. Here is the first lesson India will teach me.
Lesson #1
Love indiscreetly. Love everyone. Treat them as you would your own children. We are all interconnected and there should be no boundaries on compassion and love.
However, we usually impose boundaries on how to love and give, even when it comes to loving ourselves. These boundaries are born usually out of fear and anxiety from previous loss and betrayal. When we move out of love and compassion, we move away from the present moment and are stuck in the past or the near future. The only way to remain true to ourselves and others is to come from a place of love.
In this moment on this Indian woman’s lap, I am reminded of the mantra I have written for this journey and perhaps one I will practice now for the rest of my life:
With Love let me Lead the way
With Love let me Inspire
With Love let me Grow
With Love let me be an Artist of Life

As I wake, on this 14-hour journey I grow restless and pick up the newly released Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert (Who’s second book coincidentally was released on the very day I was leaving the states), the author of Eat Pray Love. Her book is why I am in India in the first place. Inspired by her divorce and journey for her truth, I embarked on my own. It led us both to India. In her opening chapter of Committed she states: “I came to India and on this journey to heal a broken heart and here I not only healed but found love again.” As I continue reading my eyes finally go weary, and I stop to think to myself before I close my eyes: “Is my heart broken? Why exactly am I going to India?” I quickly answer myself: “Maybe, yes.”
“Am I lonely?” “Yes “, I respond, “but I am learning to love, that is why I am on this journey”. The pilot announces we have two hours left on this flight and I think to myself, I have already learned my first lesson on this journey and I haven’t even landed yet! What exactly you may ask is the lesson? “Love compassionately always no matter how much it scares you".

India is opening my heart, the healing is beginning…