Rock Climbing Divinely

As I write this, purely without editing, due to my labtop having technical difficulties, I pray this spontaneous post will have some meaning to those who are following me on this blog and that the grammar is not horrific to read through.

This last week, here in Thailand I have spent it on Ko Phi Phi and Railay where there are some of the most beautiful cliffs to climb. Climbing has become a beautiful obsession of mine, ever since i tasted it in Vermont about a decade ago. Back then, I was afraid of the height and the fear of falling and had a hard time trusting my partner who was belaying me ( holding my rope).

SO, when I attempted to climb 10 years later, in Thailand, I came to it, with an open heart, and open mind. My body and mind having evolved, with Yoga and meditation, were ready or so I thought, for this new adventure...

But back on the rope, my body close to the rock, my hands grasping for a hold, tearing in agony as I tried to hold myself up, I became quickly fatigued and fought hard to overcome my mind's weakness. You are your thoughts. It is clearly evident, that mind over matter is true when you are climbing. But, I was lucky, the team below always encouraged me and pulled for me to make it to the top.

As I let go, and stood 75 feet above ground level, I grasped onto life, pure Lila(divine play). I sought for balance of body and mind. I kissed, literally the rocks in front of me. I honored my strength. I became one with the warrior in me.

For the team below, it was just another climb, but for me, it was an ultimate sign of strength, an obstacle I wanted to overcome. A dance against the cliffs, so delicate you could fall at any minute. Fall and confirm the fear, or climb in grasp of hope. I transcended time, anxiety, fear, and moved to love, life and strength.

It dawned on me at this moment that the cliffs that were before me and the act of climbing, were a form of living poetry. A beautiful dance of evolution. So what is the lesson here?
Lesson #1 Face your fears, be open! An open heart equals an open body and mind.

P.S. I can't wait to go again. My hands are now slowly recovering, but my mind is ready. Are you ready to face your fears? Trying taking small steps. Taste your growth! Its delicious!

Patong Phuket- lady boys, seedy beaches and bucket drinks all for the price of your tourist dreams

Much like expected Phuket was full of many revelations hidden among easy frustrating circumstances. I decided to leave Bangkok on Thai’s New Year, Songkram, where it is tradition to splash water on each other. The water is supposed to renew you, and bless you. It’s the Thai’s version of an instant cleansing, where all sins are forgotten and you are able to start new again. In concept, it’s a beautiful idea, when traveling for 24 hours with a backpack and your laptop via bus and tuk tuk taxi in the hot sun; it can prove to be very frustrating.

As I entered Phuket town, I was fatigued, under fed and hot! I was however blessed to have met new friends who instantly became my allies as we tried to get to Patong, a 30 minute ride from Phuket town. But a seemingly easy feat turned nearly impossible with the huge water gun fight being held in Patong. Literally, lady boys, children and their parents all throwing buckets of water to any incoming innocent bystander, with luggage, laptop or not! And if you were to put into the mix, alcohol, cheesy fararng (the non-Thai) tourists and a poor lost taxi driver you can easily see how my patience was tested nearly too many times. Revelation number one: Be in the moment, allow yourself to be soaked and trust that you will eventually get to your destination.

As I arrive soaked, tired and now cold, I was told that the water had been shut. My Thai Guesthouse had apparently run out of water and for the next three days, I would have to use water bottles to shower. Revelation number two: All comforts can easily be taken away from you. Be one with the unexpected. Feel blessed you can afford to buy bottled water.

The following day, I was off to the beach. The famous Patong beach was just as expected full of cheesy tourists, and beautiful lady boys. I cannot complain, I was after all near the ocean. I cleansed my crystals and was grateful to taste the salt of the Andaman Sea. I have tasted the Red, Indian, Pacific, and now another part of the whole the Andaman Sea. The ocean, the great mother that nearly destroyed this town during the Tsunami of 2004 has eased my frustrations. And as quickly as I mourned the loss of life during the Thai Red Shirt revolution, I am quickly reborn. I stop to think: Perhaps that Songkram water did work its magic?

I am now more open as I walk among the seedy surnburnt tourists looking for an easy good time, in a land full of exhibitionism and neon lights. Tomorrow I will go to Ko Phi Phi, to face another island, where I will see yet another beach, meet new people and say goodbye to these friends that have come to teach me brief lessons full of Vipassana meditation wisdom, basic Thai cultural understanding and openness to relationships where yes, a seemingly straight man can love a lady boy and treat her like his queen. Love is blind.
Ah Yes, did I fail to mention that I have been running around Paton with 3 Buddhist Spanish and Italian boys and one Thai Lady Boy, who like me, follow the Mayan Calendar?! The universe is certainly very interesting. I have enjoyed making my friends’ love interest into a beautiful lady, making her up and dancing to the wee hours in seedy Patong’s bar district with her. Patong gives South Beach and Ventura Beach a run for its money.

I leave Patong, with only one thought: Can the cycle of an easy good escapist time at the sacrifice of another’s happiness ever be broken, when will we allow ourselves to fall out of the cycle of addiction. I hope these tourists wake up someday and learn to embrace their shadow instead of always flocking to places like Thailand to live in their shadow. Final lesson: I cannot change other people’s business, only mine. I must live by example. I cannot be attached to my ego, to what I think is right. As I sit here writing this, I look down at my new tattoo where the “Om Namah Shivayah” mantra is written. Perhaps I not only honor the Divine teacher in others that is also within me, but I also honor the Shadow that is within all of us. May we continue to walk into the light and allow our shadows to be exposed for all to see. It is only in the darkness of our shadow after all, that we can see the light.

Bangkok: A journey of Love and War amongst the Golden Buddhas

I landed in Bangkok and was relieved to see so many women greeting me at the terminal. I did not feel sexual repression here, as I had in India or Sri Lanka. Needless to say, I was told I would meet people traveling alone and I did! As I sat alone for dinner that evening, 4 of the greatest guys offered to buy dinner. We went out and they showed me the club district and the go-go girls that Bangkok is so famous for. I danced all night, literally! When I thought this can’t get any better, we stopped by a popular alley where everyone eats at 6 am. I kept thinking to myself: And this is day one?
I had the most amazing connection with these guys. They had all been to India. India was still very much present in my energy. India was calling me. They spoke to me about their stories in Pushkar and Varanassi. I fell in love all over again, if only for 24 hours. I even had soul recognition with the beautiful Italian man in the group, who had Ganesha tattooed on his arm. We stayed up all night together, I never once grew tired. We talked about our past, in this life and dabbled on our ideas on how we must have known each other in past lives. It was amazing. I know I was meant to cross his path as he did mine. But, I had to remind myself that this was only day one, I needed to slow down, lucky for me these guys were all getting flights out the following day. I was back on my own again. Sad to disconnect but knowing my journey was meant to be alone. Only when I am alone does the world teach me. I have a lot to learn.
As the days followed, the world did go on to teach me. I continued to meet people on Khao San, all coincidentally, having a connection to India. I walked to the amulet market, sat in the presence of many golden Buddhas, but what was supposed to be beautiful, chaotic and perhaps even romantic turned ugly my final days visiting the temples due to the Red Shirt Revolution. On one of my final nights, walking from the amulet market, I walked into a tear gas bomb, near the Democracy Monument where the Red shirts have been staging protests all week. And as quickly as I felt the gas in my eyes and in my throat, I ran towards Khao San, I heard the bullets and the beginning of the violence. I sat in my room for what seemed like forever lucky to have close shelter nearby, and when it was all said and done, went downstairs to discover that there had been many casualties.
Being in Thailand now, I feel like I am watching history in the making. Both my parents suffered so much from political revolutions in their own countries, El Salvador and Cuba. This revolution has the smell and taste of what I only heard about every day as a child. Now, I too have seen brains splattered on the concrete. Now I too, can say I have seen the eyes and pain of war. But I am lucky, I get to leave, to forget, if I would like to.
But this violence for the sake of democracy like so many others going on all over the world, reminds me that war is everywhere. It reminds me that there is a lot of work to be done in the world. I am reminded that I must continue to live my life as an example of peace and love. That we must all continue to live this way, teaching and inspiring each other, so that someday, in some lifetime, there will truly be peace for all. I have to go on living hoping this will be so. I do not want any more children to grow up hearing the bullets, fearing the bombs. I fear for this world, but in that fear I grow. I wake up today and I practice, meditating on love and peace. Because, even one individual can make a difference, it’s the only hope I have to hold on to.
Today I pray about the violence of yesterday and the peace of tomorrow. I pray: May the souls sacrificed last night for the sake of democracy rest in peace and may Bangkok, and the rest of the world for that matter, be funneled with love and peaceful energy so that someday, we can all rest easier when we put our children to bed at night.

A Poem for Bangkok

My Bangkok
Amidst the streets lined with golden buddhas
Hidden dreams are forgotten on Khao San Road
Where at 7 am junkies are walking among Buddhist Monks
All living for today
Afterall isn’t it Present Moment only Moment?
A Red Shirt revolution is near
And I wonder am I just a witness
Or a director
Of this dream?
Bangkok
Land of girlie boys
Ping Pong Shows
Sex
And Buddhism
All lingering under the smell of curry
And Thai Iced teas
Who knows what tomorrow will bring…

You would think that traveling to India by myself would have been enough of an adventure for me, but apparently the universe wanted me to see more of the world. I really struggled with leaving India, my new home. It has meant so much to me, to be there. So with great regret and with much curiosity I packed my backpack and embarked on my new adventure to see the rest of South East Asia.
I landed in Colombo, Sri Lanka on Poya holiday, the holiday that celebrates the full moon. They do this holiday every month here, and as I arrive, I think to myself: it would only be appropriate that I begin my journey on the full moon, the moon that I honor and feel blessed to be connected to.

On the streets, I was shocked to see the militia army on almost every corner with their M-16s fully out. This was partly my naiveté for it seems only natural that a country that has suffered so much due to its arduous civil war would still be guarded a year after its final peace talks have been implemented. I found Colombo too overwhelming and boring, so I quickly took a train to Kandy, the famous town in the hill country. The beautiful ride on the train confirmed to me that my soul needed this adventure, even if it was presented at a time in my life where I did not think I had the energy for any more adventures other than India.

In Kandy, I went to see the Temple of the Tooth, the Caves filled with Buddhas in Dambulla and the wild elephants at the Elephant orphanage in Pinewella. It was here that I began to understand the power that travel can have. I was so moved by all the new tastes and smells and energies here. Up in the caves of Dambulla I was blessed by a Hindu priest, later I meditated with ancient Buddhas and stopped to do an asana to show my gratitude to these caves and this energy I felt.

I quickly moved to see my final chosen destination in Sri Lanka: Hikkaduwa the Surfer capital of this tiny island. I had to end my trip with some R&R and some beautiful beaches right? There is something about being near the ocean that moves me, and inspires revolutions of peace inside my heart. I meditated here, worked on my practice and even dug my feet in the sand while I cleansed my crystals. I even took a surf lesson. In those two days, I did everything to just be near the water. I needed its fluidity and its healing qualities to help me become grounded.
I was moved by each person I met on this trip as well. The beautiful family on my ride to Hikkaduwa, who offered me enough to eat on the 6 hour journey, or the Japanese backpacker who had spent a month studying Vipanassa meditation. I also was grateful for my new friend Tony, a physics TA at a school in Qatar, who instantly became my backpacking buddy and who even came to meet me in Hikkaduwa after climbing Adam’s Peak. There were of course the local surfer boys who taught me to just enjoy life and let go a little bit. And just like that the first country on my tour was over. I found myself up at 2 am packing up yet again for another adventure. To the beautiful land of Thailand, who knows who and what will inspire me here. Only time will tell…